Sex Addiction

What really turns sex into an addiction?

We know that everything in this life can become an addiction, such as food, drink, cigarettes, collecting objects, shopping, literally everything can become an escape for a personal problem or some kind of suffering that leads us to seek comfort in some other activity that will give us a relief of that pain, of that feeling of suffering.  Basically this is what generates any kind of addiction, something that completes a certain emptiness in the soul, a lack of Love basically.

But what about sex?  In what way can it really be considered an addiction, an escape from reality?

Today we see many ex-pornographic actors giving testimonies of life, saying that Christianity saved them from addiction, and many also take on huge wars against the porn industry, always with the intention of being "Saving souls lost in lust".

But does God really disapprove sex for the sole purpose of having pleasure?  Is it really a matter of having sexual relationships for pleasure sake, or is it much more about the abuses of the corporate world that treats sex as a commodity, as a bargaining chip, without however considering the humanity of the actors involved?  Does having a taste for sexual intercourse really constitute an addiction?  Or is it sex without love that is the big problem?

On the other hand, we see a society that intends to offer Love, but still cannot understand the Truth of this Love, and keeps on judging and criticizing all its brothers and sisters considering that in this way, through constant condemnation and always imposing conditions so that people can become "Lovable Beings", they are saving lives, when they are in fact imposing rules and requiring each Being to give up their essence so they can be loved.

Where does the essence of a person who loves freely and likes expressing this Unconditional Love in a sexual way ends up, and where the addiction to sex begins?  What truly delineates this addiction?  Does it really mean respect for human nature to want to impose on someone a restriction to sexually relate to just one person?  What if that person does not have a libido as active as the person they consort with?  Does it really constitute disrespect for the spouse to masturbate in order to give vent to their desires, since the partner does not feel like doing at that moment?

Let's consider that in fact you had the happiness of meeting someone who truly likes to relate sexually frequently, which is rare.  At what point, exactly, can this be considered an addiction?  At what point should this be considered abnormal?  What can be "Normal" after all?

Each Human Being is unique in itself, and these differences must be respected.  If one individual lives well without having sex in his life, it does not mean that everyone can live the same way.  And the freedom of choice of each one must be respected as something sovereign and absolute, which means that if a Human Being chooses to live his life by having constant sexual relationships, either with a fixed partner or with a set of partners, without procreating or raising children, that choice of his must be respected and honored.  No one should be forced to form a family with children, everyone should have absolute freedom to choose the life they want to lead.

And having an active sexual energy does not mean that the person is addicted to sex.  The absence of Love, of affection is what can constitute an addiction in sex.  If a group of 3 or 4 people decide to have sexual relationships with each other, in order to be able to attend to the sexual yearnings of this group, in what is known as a "Polyamor" relationship, this does not constitute a sex addiction, since there is a relationship of affection, of loyalty among all the ones involved.

On the other hand, if a person simply seeks sexual partners in dubious places, without even knowing the names of these partners, purely and simply to fulfill their sexual yearnings, and then discard these partners, then it can be considered that the person is a junkie in sex, because it lacks affection, loving energy.  But in fact it must be considered that this affection should start mainly from itself to itself, to know that in this way it is harming itself with all this energy exchange without control, purely and simply by the taste of the adventure of the conquest without commitment.

I want to make it clear that the purpose here is not to promote promiscuity, but to raise a question about the limits of what can be considered addiction, and what can be considered a person who has a very well-resolved sexuality and needs to express herself sexually with people to whom she loves dearly and honestly.

And of course, it is always important to stress that in a two-way relationship, it is always important to maintain respect for each one of the partners involved, and a healthy relationship between these partners requires that each one knows how to respect each other's moment, and that their sexuality must flow respecting the will of each of them to relate in that moment, or not.  As Human Beings, we will not always be ready for sex because of various concerns, or other emotional factors that may be keeping us from feeling horny.  In this case, the other partner should seek to satisfy himself on his own, respecting the emotional state of his partner.

Sexual Energy can be addictive, but that does not always mean an imbalance.  When we consider sex as an expression of Unconditional Love, and as we begin to indulge in a loving relationship with one or even more partners with whom we can share true affection and intimacy of a spiritual order, it becomes purely and simply an exchange of Love energy that is very pleasurable, an exchange of caresses, hugs, kisses, orgasms, licks, massages, that when done with absolute Love and respect becomes something transcendental and ecstatic, and this energy of the ecstasy of these exchanges becomes something addictive indeed, but very healthy!