Loneliness of a Marriage

Victims of society.  Many people have certainly heard this term a lot, usually used to "defend" underage criminals, who in fact are not really victims.  They are the way they are by their own choice, but as we live in a society that defines them in this way, they take advantage of this idea to stay free and always keep committing the same crimes.

Criminal analysis aside, I would like to speak of the "True" victims of society, those who follow the rules dictated by society and yet suffer the consequences of doing "The Right Choices".  Are they really choosing right?

When it comes to loneliness caused by a marriage, this may sound somewhat contradictory, perhaps even unlikely, but this is far more common than you can imagine.  And believe me, it's certainly not something anyone chooses to suffer!  But it happens.  And it's all because we do not follow our own choices, but rather the impositions of society.

Let's analyze some observations commonly found in our society:

"Wow, You're all grown up already!  It's time you get married!"

"And when do I get to meet your girlfriend?" Or "When will I meet your boyfriend?"

Let's consider a couple who have already got married.  At this point, we have the following comments:

"When are you going to have kids?"

"I want to meet my grandchildren while I'm still alive!"

Who has not yet "suffered" these comments?  We are dealing here with the "laws" of ordinary society, and many grow up believing that this is the path to happiness: First find a "suitable" boyfriend or girlfriend, then mark the date of marriage, get engaged and begin the planning of the ceremony and wedding party!  So finally they get married and travel for the honeymoon.  In general society already charges that on these "Honeymoon" nights the conception of a son/daughter already happens.  Otherwise, this happens to be the new demand of society, the new "Law" to be fulfilled!

For the great majority of society, living consists of studying, graduating, starting work, dating, getting married, having children, raising children, watching them leave, grow old and die.  Only that!  Dreams?  Forget it!  You have fulfilled them.  Got married, had the children... No need for anymore!  Now just wait for the grandchildren and enjoy them!

But where does the loneliness of marriage comes in?  Throughout your married life!  And we're talking about many years...

Society has determined that "Loneliness" is a bad thing, and to be truly happy, the individual has to get married, have children, and so on.

And the loneliness of a marriage happens to the extent that each part of that relationship, after they get married, begin to fulfill "specific functions".  One will be the financial provider, and the other will take care of the house, the children.  There is a certain "marriage within a marriage", where the father or the mother (In modern life there is the "flexibility" of these roles.  If only the mother used to stay at home taking care of the house and the children in the not so distant past, nowadays there is the possibility of these tasks being fulfilled by the father, but the story does not change much because of it!) "marry" their children after they are born.

But what about the original wedding?  It is becoming more and more distant, since the role of the one who maintains the financial health of the family is to devote himself to the company  the maximum he can to achieve more and more comfort and luxury for the family.  Therefore, this "maintainer" has less and less time to spend with the family.  Therefore, those who stay at home can only count on the company of their children!

And what about when they start studying?  That's when the loneliness will be more present!

Do you understand where the problem is?  No one ever teaches us that loneliness will be something that will be part of our lives in one way or another.  And everyone just teaches us that this is a bad thing!

Is it?  If you do not get married, you can live alone in a house or apartment, have your own habits, make your own schedule, have plenty of time for yourself.  You can watch many movies, you can walk naked throughout the house, you can even go to sleep naked if you want!  You can leave the house to go wherever you want.  You can also stay at home if that is his/her wish!  You can meditate, you can study what you want to study, considering that you already have your professional life formed and in exercise, you can listen to the music you want to hear, loudly...  Of course, as long as you do not disturb the neighbors!  But if it's a party with friends...  Forget the neighbors!

Is this really bad?  Sounds like "Freedom" to me!  Remember that?  I've already talked about this unprecedented concept before.

Loneliness is only bad for those who never knew what to do with it, because it means freedom!

And what about the loneliness of the one who is married?  Can you afford to leave home any time you want?  Oh, no!  I have to take care of ironing the clothes of the children, and the clothes of the husband or wife.  You also have to go to the market to shop, or you have to drive and bring the children back from school.  You also have to do the dishes, make the food, clean the house...

And after the husband/wife gets back home?  That'll be cool, we can finally have fun!

But after he/she arrives from work, they are so exhausted from a stressful day at work, that they have had millions of chores to fulfill, they will not be willing to "Have fun" with those who stayed at home, who also most certainly find themselves exhausted!

Do all these tasks fill someone's life?  Doesn't it look like a slavery to you?

But society has always taught us that we can only be truly happy if we get married!

Is the "Society" really right about it?  Isn't it better to rethink these values?

Do you now understand the question of this Loneliness?  Whoever gets married never has time for him/herself.  Unless, of course, some rules imposed by society are broken, such as choosing not to have children!

Yeah, that might help.  But there is a "But" that I will leave to discuss in another text.